Chapter One from the book

Chapter 1 – Problem

“That greedy bitch !” said one of the men sitting in the back of a black Rolls-Royce Ghost speeding along the M2 towards London, “That greedy, gold-digging tart !” he continued.

“I told you what she was like. ” replied the second man, “I told you to get a prenup and here we are !”

“Prenups don’t always work, especially in the UK” retorted the first man.

The Rolls-Royce sped past Chatham and the two men continued. “You used to be quite into her !” said the second man.

“I was at first. Young women do have a certain beauty and energy about them that can be very intoxicating to old guys like us.” said the first man.

“They sure do.” the second man agreed “how much is she getting ?”

“Half ! my lawyers don’t have a bloody clue ! … what really pisses me off is that I create the wealth and that brain-dead barbie doll just turns it into a mountain of designer clothes. I bloody hate that stupid bitch now, I wish she would just disappear out of my life ! what can I do ?”

The second man had an idea but it was so horrific he kept it to himself.

“Should I get different lawyers ? would that help ?” asked the first man in frustration.

“Probably not.” replied the second man.

“I should have let the stupid bitch die five years ago, it would have been so easy.” said the first man.

“What happened five years ago ?” asked the second man.

“We were in Spain, long story short, she drank herself into a coma, I came in just in time, saw her on her back about to drown in her own vomit … and like an idiot I rolled her on to her side and called an ambulance, what a wasted opportunity !!” said the first man with a disappointed tone.

The second man weighed up the pros and cons of telling the first man about his idea, “Just suppose you had another opportunity ?”

“Opportunity ??” exclaimed the first man.

“Yes, for her to disappear and you blameless” said the second man.

The first man slowly turned his head to the second man. “You mean … it would solve a lot of problems … but could it be traced back to me ?”

“There are ways to do this … I need to think … but if you’re having this problem others must be too.” said the second man “The legal system is becoming decidedly anti-male so this ‘service’ could be become very lucrative.”

“You evil git ! are you seriously suggesting we setup ?” said the first man.

“No, nothing quite as obvious as that, ” replied the second man ” but yes !”

“OK, lets just sort my problem first !” said the first man “Who do you know that might be useful ?”

“I’ll check when I get back but I know some guys who have been hacking car computer systems.” replied the second man.

“What can you achieve by hacking car systems ?” asked the first man.

“Those guys invited me to a demo a while back and it made me very nervous.” said the second man.

“So … how does that help me ?” asked the first man.

“You’ll see.” said the second man.

The two men sat in silence as the Rolls-Royce sped to London.


Cool things to talk about when approaching women

It can be hard to know what to talk about when approaching women and many of us fall back to the boring “what do you do” / “whats your job” type of questions. A lot of women will be constantly bombarded with these questions by guys they will quickly forget, so if you want to have some chance of being remembered try these instead :-

  1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
  2. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
  3. What would constitute the “perfect” day for you?
  4. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
  5. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
  6. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
  7. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  8. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
  9. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
  10. What is your most treasured memory?
  11. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are living now? Why?
  12. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
  13. Share an embarrassing moment from your life.
  14. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
  15. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

better still come up with some of your own (and write them in the comments) !

# 5 – I would definitely keep the 30 year old body – a younger mind in an old, decrepit body just seems like decades of frustration to me !

Thanks go to